Just because I carried it well, doesn’t mean it wasn’t heavy. So often I dismiss my own hardship because “someone has it worse.” While that’s true, I’ve learned to give myself permission to acknowledge my own struggle. Someone ELSE having more doesn’t make MY load any less for me. The past year was brutal. I powered through and weathered the storm, all while battling seasonal depression and crippling anxiety.

This year certainly came with its triumphs and despairs. It came at a cost, the cost of my joy, my energy, and the capacity to do anything for myself other than survive.

Thankfully, this particularly rough season in my life is coming to an end. I am fully vaccinated, controlling my anxiety with help from my doctor, and falling into (somewhat) of a groove with 2020-21 work responsibilities.

This whole30 was all about recalibration and loving myself. It was about reclaiming joy and control over my health. It has given me more energy, better sleep, clearer skin, a confidence boost, and the gift of my clothes fitting and feeling better on me. Yes, I lost some weight too. But it was never really about that. I have also sold my boyfriend over to team paleo. (He looks and feels great too.)

Here’s a since I haven’t shown my face around here in a long time.